The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
No subtext here. People are naked.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
