it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
