o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
if only i could text you this smell
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
