Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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