He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
