I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
well you can't waste a boner
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
