At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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