yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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