You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
