I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
