everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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