We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
