So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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