the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
