Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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