it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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