At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
