Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
