it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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