Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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