how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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