i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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