just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
