That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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