No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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