There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
