we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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