The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
