So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
