have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
