You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
