We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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