I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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