Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
this boner is exhausting
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
