dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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