You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
