just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
