So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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