and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
