Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
