my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
