Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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