Already got asked if we're dating
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
