His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
