Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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