oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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