I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
