Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
