all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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