I wannas sexs uuuuu
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
