Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
