Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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