Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
