Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
