I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
