What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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